In Loving Memory of my Angel Sherry...

7th Dec 1996 - 18th Mar 2008

An angel, a friend, a listener..... & I am falling short of words now.. my mind has suddenly stopped working and I still want to think that this news about you is just another nightmare.. I m not ready to except this fact that, this time when I m going to come home you wont come running up to me to see me at the gate... the thought of you not being there following me to every room I go to, makes my heart skip a heartbeat..

I still remember the day I got you home and you were 29 days old... and I was not ready for my exams to get over to bring you home.. I luv u & miss u so much... you were the first dog that I ever decided to bring home against all odds..

"Baby girl no matter how far you are right now you will always be in our heart; thanks for the wonderful 11 years you gave us, for all the love you gave us; Our house will never be the same without you. We love you always !"

Testing the Waters…!!!

Have you ever wondered that what it takes to keep that temper in control or to keep yourself in control from yelling at somebody you would not want to yell at… whoa.. I have lately started feeling that I am kind of loosing patience very easily, well I guess I am not.. It’s only the people and the situations that make me over react at times as they call it..

Ok lets understand this… now there is somebody you know for 4 to 5 years and its more or less like knowing them for your whole life and there is not even a single day that you have not spoken to them, and one fine day they just make you feel as if they are taking you for granted ‘cause they think that, come what may you are always going to be there for them & the kind of feeling you have at that point of time confuses you and makes you ask your own self that where the hell is that relationship going? You know that your friend is facing tough time and is trying to fix things in their own life but lately the behavior has changed so much which worries you, that what they are going to make out of their life.

You are giving them space and time, and also you don’t want to leave them on their own or alone ‘cause you know they will get lost if you are not there. Now it’s been more then a week and you want to talk to them about it ‘cause you are worried, but they are just avoiding all the conversations that you try to make… & then you end up yelling at them, not willingly but unknowingly even when you have been telling yourself, that be it whatever, but you will not loose your temper at all.

The response you receive at that time is “don’t yell at me...”, & it makes you feel as if you have made a complete fool of yourself again & as if you have lost all the right you had on them all this while, good lord, why can’t I just control myself & why can’t I just remember that I don’t have to yell.

Hmmmm… I have been thinking about this for a while now and I guess it’s time to test waters and put our relationship on test, and I should give them some more time to think about what’s happening in and around this relationship and their own life. ‘Cause I am tired of Listening and Saying the word SORRY. I believe that when two people are friends and when they understand each other well they don’t need to give explanations to each other or say that freaky word. So I guess I made my decision but implementation is definitely going to be difficult, for sure…!!!

Change your life...!!!

"Change your life in 30 days &... blah blah blah...."

Sounds familiar... yeah to me too.... :D

Some people believe it and some people don't.. but there are few who try to prove it... yeah sounds insane.. well not to me anymore.. :)

Last 6 years of my life, I have seen lots of ups and downs in my career and my life and then one day I finally decided to give up.. :( , don't know what it was, how did it happen and what made me decide it, but something was instigating me for long to give up, it was more or less like I was going through a nervous breakdown, as if something else started to take control of my life and I lost it all… huh.. bad phase I guess, or may be living alone away from family for a job that no more gives you job satisfaction, lousy colleagues & sick management… and someone who just can’t mind his own business and keeps poking his nose in your job.

You know what this made me decide, this made me decide that I need a break or a vacation or some kind of a change. After giving it a thought and discussing issues at hand with few close and not sooo close friends here is a list that was formed..

• Go Goa…. Yippee


• Go back to your home town… this was something that I was in agreement with but only 10%.


• Find another job…. Hummm sounds good, but I guess we are talking about a break.. right..!!!


• Join some course… SAP/CCNA/CCNP…..etc..


• Go for a makeover… hummm.. but I guess I don’t have patience for this..


• Pamper yourself.. go to Kerala Backwaters… yaar are these guys my friends or some travel agent..


• Get a hair cut… I get it done almost every 2 months.. what’s new about it…


• Shed those extra pounds….. hummm that’s definitely of interest.. now u r talking my friend...


• Be more patient… what the hell is that supposed to mean.. I have myself become a PATIENT (noun) trying to be PATIENT (adjective) all the time..


• Go for spiritual trip… have you lost your mind, I need a break doesn’t mean I need to break my head… I will visit temple, church, mosque, anything but why a trip.. I m yet to reach the stage of “Self realization” (oh god that’s Maslow’s hierarchy of needs)….

All that discussion was sure making me nervous it made me feel like I am standing at the “Crossroad of my life”.. it was a scary feeling.. as if I don’t have control of my life anymore and just the thought of it was giving me shiver and Goosebumps, I was confused and so I decided to talk to my best friend and speak out my heart, for I know she is one person in this world who will criticize me, be by my side for my decision, without looking for a benefit of her own out of it..
All this definitely made me realize that you should not take advice or rather ask for advice from all close and not soo close friends, rather ask for suggestions from people who are your friend + critics, doesn’t mean from someone who keep judging you all the time.. like may be your relatives or your next door neighbor…

Ok accepted I haven’t been taking any of these suggestions listed in the list seriously till date, but I guess its never too late, to start all over again..

I made my choice out of this list.. well those who know me would guess it.. but those who don’t, off course m not going to stop you from forming an opinion… but till the time I tell u keep guessing.. ;)

I waited and I think I just waited too long for somebody to come and make me see what I have been ignoring.. but life teaches everyone some people learn it soon and some learn it the hard way & I never like doing things the easy way… lolz..