Just another roller coaster ride...

This one post have been in draft for almost a month.. somehow I decided not to write anymore, well who knows when ur mind can again change and you decide to start writting again... well here I am back yet once again and decided to finish this post..

March got over long back and its seems like that the life went through hell lot of miserable things... A job, people & place that I used to love but hated the management so decided to leave it at the start of the year.. Few friends whom I decided to leave behind as it was more of a burden & a formality to keep them further as a friend..

Lost two dear friends in last twelve months.

Life went through lot of changes, people who were close went far and people who were far came close... last two years of my life made me meet some of the worst people I have ever come across in my personal and professional life.. people who like to assume, make perceptions, dis-respect others, can perform cheap stunts to show others down, selfish & self centered.. and the list goes on...

Its an old saying but yes its true.. people can be egoistic bastards.. when u have already lost a battle and it does not exist anymore, they want to still give it another try to win an already lost battle... they find it so hard to accept that they have lost and they lost it being a MAN, and that too they lost it from a WOMAN..

I dont understand why people find it so difficult to leave their past behind and move on.. why they want to try and stop the sand of time to slip from their hands even when they know that when they would open their hands nothing would be left... Is it so diifficult to face the reality or the truth, well I believe not..

Testing the Waters…!!!

Have you ever wondered that what it takes to keep that temper in control or to keep yourself in control from yelling at somebody you would not want to yell at… whoa.. I have lately started feeling that I am kind of loosing patience very easily, well I guess I am not.. It’s only the people and the situations that make me over react at times as they call it..

Ok lets understand this… now there is somebody you know for 4 to 5 years and its more or less like knowing them for your whole life and there is not even a single day that you have not spoken to them, and one fine day they just make you feel as if they are taking you for granted ‘cause they think that, come what may you are always going to be there for them & the kind of feeling you have at that point of time confuses you and makes you ask your own self that where the hell is that relationship going? You know that your friend is facing tough time and is trying to fix things in their own life but lately the behavior has changed so much which worries you, that what they are going to make out of their life.

You are giving them space and time, and also you don’t want to leave them on their own or alone ‘cause you know they will get lost if you are not there. Now it’s been more then a week and you want to talk to them about it ‘cause you are worried, but they are just avoiding all the conversations that you try to make… & then you end up yelling at them, not willingly but unknowingly even when you have been telling yourself, that be it whatever, but you will not loose your temper at all.

The response you receive at that time is “don’t yell at me...”, & it makes you feel as if you have made a complete fool of yourself again & as if you have lost all the right you had on them all this while, good lord, why can’t I just control myself & why can’t I just remember that I don’t have to yell.

Hmmmm… I have been thinking about this for a while now and I guess it’s time to test waters and put our relationship on test, and I should give them some more time to think about what’s happening in and around this relationship and their own life. ‘Cause I am tired of Listening and Saying the word SORRY. I believe that when two people are friends and when they understand each other well they don’t need to give explanations to each other or say that freaky word. So I guess I made my decision but implementation is definitely going to be difficult, for sure…!!!

"Tere bin jeena nahin...."

Something reminded me today that there are so many things that I have either overlooked or may be I was tooo busy to take care.. so many things that you once liked all of a sudden you realize that you no more even think about them.. and then one day some one suddenly give you a back what you have forgotten..

today after may be over 1.5 year I saw a number on my phone and it looked familiar, without guessing I said 'hello...' & the voice that I heard from the other end all of a sudden takes me back to past, what a pleasant surprise it was.. to talk to someone u thought u have lost long back someone u thought don't have time 'cause they are busy making a career and other family ties.. and this makes me realize that I still have friends who live miles apart but they still think of me..

The amazing part is that they still remember what u like and ur favorite song and what were ur last words, the last time u spoke to them...

.....this is for u my dear friend... :) 'cause u still remember that 10 years ago I told you this is my favorite song..